It’s 1:11am in Tuesday Morning March 1, 2011. I’m editing this blog tonight/this morning. Because I read what I wrote it doesn’t sound right so I have to correct it.
I’m so angry. They call me “Crazy” only because I Love the LORD.
Satan hates me with a passion. He seeks my soul night and day. He wants me dead in the worst way.
He uses people who are weak of the flesh. But GOD turns his evil plans against him. Instead of committing Evil, Unrighteous and Unholy deeds GOD compels these men & women to do HIS Righteous bidding. Amen
Jesus will use these same people to fulfill HIS Perfect Will and become blessing for HIS people.
I have seen the Hand of GOD at work. I have seen move people without their knowledge to go against their nature and become blessing of joy and happiness for those in need.
Satan, that Dark Ancient Angel of OLD is EVIL. He uses the WEAK OF THE FLESH to do damage to God’s chozen. But he’s not successful. He always loses. He is the WEAKEST LINK. Lucifer is the Loser.
Don’t get me wrong if I had read this blog when I was in my Deep Dark hours of pain, sorrow and misery I would have a different answer. But I can see now.
Everything is crystal clear since I’ve stopped smoking…since I’ve given up the last crutch that keep me from serving My Lord Heart, Mind and Soul. Now GOD through His Sweet Spirit can and has talked to me.
Everything I’ve learned about My GOD up to this point in my life is coming to fruition and making sense. All to God’s glory, Praise and Honor.
If I had read this to me and our children preach to him and tell him the They husband, Carlos Juan Weber, and my four children I bore him, Keone, Maria, Harmony & even my Matty. For them I thought. I had to stay. I have to endure the suffering, the pain, the aggravation, condemnation, slaps, punches, choked to near death.
No one to call on for help. No one cares. Who knows my pain? What business is it of theirs? Embarrassed, Ashamed…I didn’t listen…All I knew how to do was to LOVE and Forgive him.
I am here to Praise the Lord, Worship GOD, Serve HIM by serving HIS people. Living the gospel truth of Love and Sacrifice.
As thou hast said and it is written ”
Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. [Matthew 7:12] Selah
The following is the original words I wrote in this blog. What you’ve just read is a Revelation of the change that has taken place in me over the last month….little did I know….But HE did and that’s why I Love HIM so. But as you read you will see my Sorrow and Despair when I wrote this Blog because of my then Miserable and Unhappy circumstances that has literally lasted most of my life.
“OK Lord I’m here…Another day Thou has given me…I’m going to carry on…I don’t know how much longer I can do this…28 years is a long time.”
So much PAIN…SO much Sorrow has passed my way…I thought today was it. I can’t go on anymore…I can’t do this…I don’t know what to do…I cry everyday…I ask GOD for his help but I’ve done this for the last 28 years plus with the same result.
I’m going no where…The PAIN…THE PAIN…still the same. IT’s not going away..
I’m going to use it to my advantage. I can’t worry about that now. I don’t have much time as my enemy sits near by watching me, taunting me, hating the fact that I’m even on the computer this evening.
It’s been too long. I’ve had this site for a month now and have been unable to do do anything with it.
FEAR plagues my life . I’m so angry with myself.
I WAS FREE once UPON A TIME… believe it or not. I DID leave all of this behind. I found the strength to fight back. To shut my enemy down.
But now as I look around me… as I look at this screen deep within my soul…. I SCREAM, I SCREAM silently I SCREAM (tears).
What the hell is wrong with me. HOW could I let the enemy back in. Hadn’t he done enough damage to me and to my kids.
Four years ago I was Happy & Free. I was healing from 16 years of abuse…Physically, Mentally & Emotionally damaged I literally was beginning to heal when the worst thing could have happened happen.
Again Satan saw my Joy…He saw my Peace…my Happiness and HE DID NOT WANT ME TO HAVE IT.
Satan plagued my life once again with lies and manipulation. What made it worst was this time he was recruiting my children (who were now older) to work against me.
The Lord said Satan?Lucifer knows the Bible from Genesis to Revelatiions.
Now since he took my Father 20 years earlier and now my Mother he knew my Love and full attention was going to be focused on my children.
Satan new the love I had for my babies. He knew how I would sacrifice all for them. Even my SANITY.
I just never thought in a million years they would all side with him, that evil dark Angel from HELL
BUT a new day has dawned. And I’m waking up slowly. I’m becoming enlightened to my mistakes. To the dark evil shadows that follow me Every Day.
I didn’t think I was going to survive today. I don’t even know how.. i did it but because of JESUS all things are possible and I am here to testify of HIS wondrous LOVE and tenderous MERCIES.
I am able to write this because it is in HIS time that I write so that HE will Receive the Glory. PRAISE, & HONOR….Hallelujah
Thank you for reading…hope you enjoyed it and may you to be blessed my JESUS Existence, HIS LOVE and PRESENCE. Amen & Amen
People Get Ready Because HE is Coming Again Soon.
Aloha from PA
April 27,2012 1:57 am